


what lies beneath the surface

by bokutoma



Category: Persona 4, Persona Series
Genre: Acceptance, Coming Out, First Love, Fluff, Kinda, M/M, Social Links, kanji being kanji, officially this time
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-24
Updated: 2020-04-24
Packaged: 2021-03-01 22:48:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,714
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23824837
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bokutoma/pseuds/bokutoma
Summary: There is something cold in Yu Narukami's eyes. There is something cold in Yu Narukami's eyes, and Kanji Tatsumi is in love.
Relationships: Narukami Yu/Tatsumi Kanji, Seta Souji/Tatsumi Kanji
Comments: 21
Kudos: 172





	what lies beneath the surface

**Author's Note:**

> i am not sorry for my kanji lovebot brain

There is something cold in Yu Narukami's eyes. There is something cold in Yu Narukami's eyes, and Kanji Tatsumi is in love.

Not that _that's_ the reason he's in love, of course. He might have issues expressing himself and determining what actual healthy behaviors look like, but he's not so far gone as to believe that _coldness_ is the mark of a good partner.

No, it's that Yu is looking at his uncle, who he's professed to care about despite not knowing him for more than a few months, with a frozen-over sort of anger that could level the mountains around Inaba.

"You're friends with... Kanji Tatsumi?" the man had asked, disbelieving, and it would have been easier for Yu to deny it. After all, it's not like an association with him meant anything other than the watchful eye of the law-trained upon you, and that's the last thing any of them need.

"Yes," Yu had said in response, and there had been a tilt to his chin that Kanji knows from all manner of punks, but it's always been best worn on a leader. It's a challenge; what will the detective say to that?

Yu's eyes are hard as his uncle seems to determine what it is he wants to say to that. Maybe Kanji is just making this up, but that look seems to say, "No matter what, I've laid my claim, and nothing you say will make me let him go."

It's wishful thinking, probably. After all, it's been less than a month since he admitted to the world at large that he's scared shitless of rejection, and he's been clinging onto this strange group of upperclassmen like a lifeline. Maybe this is just... normal teenage rebellion, whatever that looks like. Besides, it's not like the detective is actually Yu's dad. Maybe Yu is just reminding him of his place.

Still, it feels different, and something flutters back to life in his chest before he can get a lid on it.

 _Be more manly,_ says the infinite choir of voices in his head, and as loath as he is to admit it, some of his new friends have made their own distinct voices heard, though.

Not Yu, though, and like it or not, Kanji isn't quite ready to give up.

* * *

Okay, so maybe it isn't _love_ (or if it is, he's not ready to admit it), but Kanji is fully capable of admitting to himself that he's kind of jealous of all the girls Yu spends time with.

Yukiko and Chie are different, of course, and even if they did have crushes on Yu (which... seems unlikely, given certain circumstances, but Kanji knows better than to make assumptions), they don't care enough about them to make them obvious. Ai Ebihara totes him around like an accessory, though, and even if the way she claims the times that the two of them hang out to be dates so loudly makes Kanji suspicious, at least she can _say_ it.

Yu doesn't deny it, either.

Yumi Ozawa seems to be going through something of her own - everything he had known about her tangentially had always painted her as dedicated and passionate, after all - but Kanji can't deny that he's envious of the time and care that Yu so clearly gives her. They've even held hands, as a pair of gossips so graciously informed the entire second-floor hallway, and he tries not to seethe at that.

Instead, he just feels sad.

It's Rise who's the worst of all, though. Not that Kanji begrudges rescuing her; she's a good friend, even if she is prone to teasing and frustration. Besides, it's nice to know someone his age who has his back.

Still, from day one, she hasn't been shy about flirting with Yu. Chie calls her a "dangerous girl", and for once, he has a hard time disagreeing with the sentiment. Not that he blames Rise, considering how hypocritical that would be. Yu is an easy guy to like, after all. When he blushes, though, Kanji's blood boils, and it only settles again when he's by himself, turning into a numb sort of sadness.

By this point, he's all but accepted that he's gay. Not that he would be pleased if anyone else were to call him on it, of course; there are still too many bad memories for him to be truly open.

Still, even though he thinks Yu wouldn't out him if he confessed, even if he thinks it wouldn't be so bad to be fully, completely honest with the best friend he has, he remembers Yosuke's words at the campout: "Are we gonna be safe here alone with you?" As though he's a predator. As though he can't be trusted.

Maybe he'll just wait. After all, he still has the better part of a year to figure out what it is he really wants to say and how he'll say it.

If he's lucky, this infatuation will have disappeared by then, but he's rarely had so much good luck come his way, and to ask for any more would feel a little ungrateful, and be too much to ask for besides.

If he's honest, though, he doesn't really want it to go away anyway.

* * *

"Kanji," Yu says, his voice ringing out clearly even through the dense hallway. Is he just attuned to the sound, or is it really that resonant? Either seems equally possible when it comes to Yu.

"Yeah?" His body turns without his consent, and he's definitely blocking the flow of traffic to the doors but at this point, but he doesn't really care. Anyway, it's not like anyone is going to say anything to him, so he can study Yu's approach unhindered.

If Kanji were made to describe why he likes Yu - and wouldn't that just be a fucking Midnight Channel episode - it would be that he's cool. It's kind of a lame description, but it has more to do with what that means than anything quite so superficial as what that implies. He's unflappable. Nothing that they've seen so far has seemed to rattle him in the slightest, and nothing that either Kanji or Rise has shown him seems to affect him any further than silent concern and that grim determination to help.

There's a quiet charm that he exudes that makes him instantly likable to anyone who spends a decent length of time with him, and it's this that lets him navigate the halls relatively unimpeded but for the calls of friends and unavoidable traffic.

"Walk home with me," Yu says when he's close enough. There's nothing to extrapolate meaning from in the placidity of his face, but Kanji feels his own heat anyway.

"Uh, sure, whatever you say." Not the smartest thing he could have said, but probably a lot better than what was going to come spilling out if his survival instinct hadn't kicked in.

Yu is quiet as they grab their shoes and leave, so he is too. It's not hard to find other things to occupy himself, not when his mind is spinning, wondering what it is that the upperclassman has brought him along to say. After all, it's usually other people who invite him out, not the other way around. Has he done anything wrong lately? Kanji honestly can't recall.

Earlier, though, some girls in his class had talked about seeing the guys they liked in their summer uniforms and, looking at Yu beside him, he thinks he gets it.

They turn together at a corner, and it's only then that Kanji is enough out of his own head to recognize that they're on their way to the central shopping district. Between the displays of the shops Kanji has known all his life, Yu looks natural, and he wonders what it would take to freeze this moment forever.

Souzai Daigaku is apparently their destination, though, and Kanji relaxes marginally. It's not particularly isolated, after all, so there can't be anything too earth-shattering to be discussed.

"This one is my treat," Yu says, however, and when he leads them to a simple table in the corner of the shop's rented location, Kanji's stomach drops all over again.

Yu comes back with a wide array of food, but for once, Kanji is too nervous to start eating. He looks at his friend with a stare that he's sure can only be called desperate, and Yu sighs.

"Do you have a crush on me?" he asks like that's not the hardest question in the world to answer. He grabs a steak croquette and takes a bite, apparently content to sit and wait for the answer even as Kanji's face heats up.

"What the hell kind of a question is that?" His voice is too loud, but he only repels attention in just the way he always has. "Do you even know what you're accusing me of, you bastard?"

Yu sighs, and abruptly, the anger drains out of him. "Maybe I went about this wrong," he mutters, and Kanji _does not fucking understand._ "Let me try again. Kanji, I got the feeling that you're harboring feelings for me. I'd like to know if that's true, but regardless of your answer, I won't turn my back on you. I won't tell anyone else either if that's what you're worried about."

Could it really be that easy? "And if my answer's yes? What then?"

Yu smiles, and Kanji likes it because it's just as subtle as the rest of him, just one corner of his mouth turning up. There's nothing dishonest in that smile, and he knows that there's nothing he could do to hold back his feelings. "You'll have to see, won't you?"

"Then yeah, I do." Every ounce of that infamous Kanji Tatsumi ferocity goes into spitting those words out, but they still come out far more muted than usual. His hands are shaking.

Beneath the table, one of Yu's hands find his, and he tangles their fingers together. There's a full smile on his face now, the kind that Kanji only sees when he's laughing or when Nanako slips a note in his bag. "Good."

There is nothing cold about Yu Narukami now, in his eyes or anywhere else, and Kanji Tatsumi is still in love.

**Author's Note:**

> i'm on twitter @kingblaiddyd


End file.
